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My grandmother - Elizabeth Jennings

She kept an antique shop – or it kept her.
Among Apostle spoons and Bristol glass,
The faded silks, the heavy furniture,
She watched her own reflection in the brass
Salvers and silver bowls, as if to prove
Polish was all, there was no need of love.

And I remember how I once refused
To go out with her, since I was afraid.
It was perhaps a wish not to be used
Like antique objects. Though she never said
That she was hurt, I still could feel the guilt
Of that refusal, guessing how she felt.

Later, too frail to keep a shop, she put
All her best things in one narrow room.
The place smelt old, of things too long kept shut,
The smell of absences where shadows come
That can’t be polished. There was nothing then
To give her own reflection back again.

And when she died I felt no grief at all,
Only the guilt of what I once refused.
I walked into her room among the tall
Sideboards and cupboards – things she never used
But needed; and no finger marks were there,
Only the new dust falling through the air.

In this poem poet describes her grandmother and her relationship with her grandmother.

Poet starts with saying that her grandmother kept an antique shop or it kept her. These lines describes her loneliness. The only thing she had was her antique shop and it was the means of her living. She has apostle spoons, Bristol glass, silk and heavy furniture in her shop. She keeps all the things clean and polished and she can see her reflection in it.

In next stanza poet remembers one incident with her grandmother. Once her grandmother asked poet to go out with her but poet refuses. Grandmother did not tell if she hurt but now poet feels guilty for her refusal.

Now she was old and so she is not able to run the shop. She puts all her things in one narrow room. Now grandmother dies and poet go to that room. The room smelt old and the things were shut for too long and there was absence of her grandmother. Now nobody was polishing the things and so she could not see her reflection.

When poet's grandmother dies she feels no pain, just guilt for her refusal to go outside with her. She walks in the room seeing tall sideboards and cupboards. There were no finger marks of anyone but just new dust falling through the air.


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